I’m miserable today.  I read the “general” horoscope I get in my Inbox everyday.  Today it says:

Anxiety floats around today, yet we can’t seem to put our fingers on the source of the unrest. Finding our center of gravity is tricky business because the sensitive Cancer Moon runs into punishing aspects from penetrating Pluto and shocking Uranus. Meanwhile, complexity builds as an annoying Venus-Pluto aspect reveals a deeper layer of feelings. Fortunately, an insightful Mercury-Pluto trine brings enough wisdom to manage the emotional intensity.

Mostly it’s like “what?” But there are words in there that I’m feeling today.  Anxiety, annoying, complexity, emotional intensity.  I threw something (soft) across the room today I was so pissed off that the dog was on the couch.  I didn’t throw it at the dog but I just wanted to cry…and I did…again.  (and then the dog came over and gave me kisses cause he knew I was sad) At some point I know I need to give up on that.  I think the choice is live with this family or be alone and have my things.  I know the couch is just a thing but sometimes I can’t separate knowing how long it took me to finally get something nice for myself.  It really is an insightful, emotional kinda day.  I skipped Yoga today cause I lost track of time in getting ready to go, so I decided to do one of those 20 minute meditation things with Oprah and Deepak.  Today’s message is “Living Kindness – being kind to all” …yea, no… I skipped it and went back and did yesterdays.  I don’t want to be kind today.  That’s how bad it is.  Phil is probably reading this ever so thankful that I’m off for the day/night.

I’m off to Orlando today to see “my Marissa” in a play.  She’s in the musical version of The Big Fish.  I’m excited to see her and I love the Big Fish story.  Had no idea there was a musical version and no idea Marissa could sing.  I’m very excited to finally make the trip over to see her.  I’m staying in a hotel for the night that I found on Groupon.  I didn’t think about checking the reviews before booking.  BIG mistake…maybe.  Phil thinks Groupon wouldn’t sell a flea-bag place.  We’ll see.  I hate to go from being bit in one place to being bit in another.  Not a good day to test the anxiety, annoying, emotional intensity thing I have going on. But if all is okay, I’m looking forward to sitting by the pool in the morning.  There’s something different about sitting at someone else’s pool.  No laundry to do, phones to answer, emails to check.  I can just unplug.  Which reminds me to take my IPOD cause I’m not really going to unplug that much.

To end on the positive side….I went to the beach yesterday morning after dropping Phil at work.  We went to a network thing last night (ugh) so I drove him to work and picked him up.  The beach was so nice and was most definitely “pinch” worthy.  Sue always asks me if I’m pinching myself out of disbelief that I’m in Florida.  When I’m at the beach I feel like I’m in Florida.  So it was nice.  Even the network thing wasn’t that bad.  And of course a night out with the BF (boyfriend) is always nice.  Love him more than the couch.  Guess I better keep that in mind.

 

mebeachselfie

 

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