It’s hard to follow yesterday’s blog. I’m trying to hold onto the “island” feel but it is slowing dissipating. I know I should be all caught up in the boys visit this weekend, but wouldn’t it be nice if the boys were visiting us on the Island? Oh well, just a little more dreaming. Dreaming got me this far, guess it doesn’t hurt to keep it up.
It’s a blah day here in the south, although at least not cold (even though I have my heater on.) I’m trying not to focus on the weather for the boy’s visit but it’s hard not to. It looks like Jimmy might get in one good Florida day, and Zachary is going to get perfect weather for his 3 days. I’ve got to quit looking at it, it’s bound to change anyway. And really we still are 60° warmer than up north so it’s going to be okay no matter what.
I know the first thing we’ll do on Friday is go to the beach. Even when the temperature is only in the 60’s you know when you’re visiting you want to see the beach. It’s funny how acclimated I am already to this climate. I think it’s cold. I rarely get to the beach (because it’s too cold), even the lizards don’t bother me anymore, I hardly notice them. I do think I’ll get to the beach more when it warms up and I’m not looking forward to the return of the bug bites.
All the things I thought I’d do once I lived in warm weather, like walk every day and stay active have gone out the window. Although I feel like I’m active everyday, I rarely go for walks. RARELY. And you know how you think once you’re not working anymore you’ll have all this time to exercise? Well, yea, not so much. I’m getting activities in here and there but not like what I thought. Thank the gods for Phil (for many reasons) but if it wasn’t for him I probably would be getting even less activity. He’s usually dragging me out the door on weekends to go biking or walking. I don’t know about you all but I find that I am rarely right about figuring out my future self. Other than the fact that I am here now in Florida, I don’t think I’ve gotten anything else right.
I’ve been thinking about work. Everyone pretty much knows how much I didn’t ever want to work in office work, I think I made that pretty clear. Although there were times when I did some tasks that were rewarding and granted my meeting planning life was good. Meeting planning at Thomson was fun, rewarding and well-paying. But I was over it when I was over it and was ready to move on. Maybe it’s because I thought I would have done “more” at my next job. Although I liked some of the processes I was involved with at PPU, like the contracts, it just never went anywhere. And other than the $1 grab bag gift party at Christmas what did it all mean? As much as I hated the office is it really over? And if it is like what did all those wasted work years mean? Just a way to eat? Barely? I don’t know. It seems a little odd that it could all be over. Something seems unfinished. I imagine when you retire you look back on all these years of hard work and look forward to not working. But with me I thought I was getting out of one place and going to get back into another. I don’t feel closure on that part of my life. I need closure. I am happy to have closure there, but I don’t have it yet. Ya know?
I love all the Facebook comments when I post my southern pictures. I really do forget that it’s cold anywhere else in the world when I’m down here just living life. I don’t mean to be cruel, usually 🙂 And I don’t feel spoiled, although Phil might disagree. Maybe I need to embrace being spoiled and be thankful that those office days are over. Maybe it’s all about accepting that they are over, or maybe they aren’t over. I mean I WANT them to be over, don’t get me wrong, it just doesn’t seem like the right timing. It feels unfinished. Is this a mid-life crisis thing?
Time now to go get the girl. Then I think it’s a BLT day. Then it’s also date night. For date night I think we’re hitting Costco. Gotta stock up for the weekend. My boys apparently want me to cook. Damn kids.