Today I’m practicing being a writer. I started off my day today packing my bag and leaving the house on my day away adventure. I met Maryann and he-who-shall-be-nameless who told me all day “no blogging”
(Bobby) and we sat by the pool a couple of hours and then went onto the beach. Maryann only took one picture all day which happened to be of me and he-who-shall-be-nameless. I wish I had it to put on the blog. That would get him going for sure. They treated me to lunch and the best fish tacos EVER…a nice private beach area, a lot of gabbing, and a good time was had by all. I have found that when I reconnect with an old good friend I really do feel re-energized. It was really a nice day. I dropped them off around 5:00 and the plan was to come to my own room and sit here and write, you know, like a writer. I had to catch up on the blog so I knew I had at least something to start with.
Well,,, I checked into my small but comfortable room, not the Ritz, but it’s really kind of cute. After checking in I saw that I was minutes from Siesta Key. I’ve always wanted to see Siesta Key so I took advantage of the fact that I still had on my beach clothes and took off to explore. I found the beach! Free parking, nice walkway and onto the sunset. See for yourself..
Okay so then I come back to the room and discover that I am right beside a shopping plaza with Winn Dixie, Starbucks, a really cool drug store (the old-fashioned kind with “stuff” in it…I’ll be exploring tomorrow) and a Panera. So off to Panera’s it was for dinner. Then back to the room and more time to get the computer set up, eat, Skyped with my boyfriend, turned the TV on, can’t stop thinking about that nice clean bathtub and the book on the bed that I could read, in the bathtub.
I am a true writer. I have writer’s block. See? You can’t have writer’s block if you’re not a writer so I MUST be a writer. I thought blogging would help release those creative juices. I thought a day at the beach with friends away from the daily grind, then some meditative time at a sunset, well that should do it right? Admittedly the TV should NOT be on. But really, I think the answer is a week at Cabbage Key. If I could finance myself I would finance a week in seclusion to see if I could come up with an idea. One week, at the beach, alone. So should I have a TV in my seclusion week? I don’t ever have it on during the day when I typically blog so I probably shouldn’t have it on now. But I like my shows, and staying in a Motel room well it’s almost a necessity. This is not your typical Hotel, it’s a “motel” and there’s a lot of noise out there. I’m not sure what’s up with that. I guess it’s not really writer friendly here. But I get the overall idea. I like this pretending I’m a writer thing. Ya know, I think I might start living in my head again. It was a nice place to be when I was in Pittsburgh. I dreamed for 5 years or more of moving to Florida and look where I am. I remember one time telling Jimmy about my dream of being a writer and he very wisely said “you don’t want to be a writer, you want that lifestyle.” Hmmmm, dam kids. He’s right though, I DO want the lifestyle, but I really do want to write too. So he’s not 100”% right. Now that I’ve been blogging (almost a year) pretty consistently, practicing my writers voice (as Amanda said) I like the practice, I like the freedom of course, I like the blabbing. It’s fun! It’s sooo me!
When I was at Carlow, in one of my English classes we were promised extra credit if we wrote a play or story. I wrote a play about us Bunko girls. I had had the idea for a week or so and then I sat down one night at the computer and it poured out of me. At that time, and for that assignment, I was a writer. It just developed (I got an A of course 🙂 ). That’s what I’m waiting for. That inspiration again. I want Phil to walk into the bedroom when I’m typing and I don’t look up to talk because I’m engrossed in my story, I want him to go to bed and ask me when I’m coming to bed and I don’t answer because I’m deep into Chapter 5 and have to finish the scene. I want papers to be crushed up and thrown all over the room as if I was on a typewriter (I’ll have to just stage it since we don’t actually have a typewriter), I want to forget to make dinner because I have the characters at a critical juncture that I have to finish while it’s in my mind. I want to make everyone I live with mad and frustrated just long enough for me to finish. And then when I finish we’ll all be happy and everyone will let out a huge sigh of relief and I’ll make cookies again.
And then I want to send that book away to 10 or 100 publishers and have just ONE say ok. I have sent other samples to publishers (none recently). I have heard several times that I’m a good writer but…I just need ONE to say I’m a good writer, here’s $84,000 to finish (I had a dream a few weeks ago that Phil brokered a writers deal for me for $84,000…)
Is this so much to ask? Well, true to my profession, I’m going to go soak in the tub and read a little of the Circular Staircase by my maharishi, Mary Roberts Rinehart. Maybe after a couple of chapters I’ll start to channel her. I mean we are like twins from different eras. Okay not twins but we both lived in Pittsburgh, Sewickley and Florida. That makes us psychically connected sisters.
In the morning I think I’m going to pretend I live at the beach and possibly go for a walk on it before heading home back to the real world, where I can also walk on the beach daily, if I wanted to. I really do have a great life. I’m so happy I moved here. And I’m so happy I have the best boyfriend who supports me and all my crazy dreams. See? I already have my dedication page.