I have 20 minutes to post. I’m supposed to just write. It feels like when you’re supposed to meditate and clear your mind. Like really can anyone do that? So when I’m told not to think about it and just write my mind starts thinking “what should I write?” Already I’ve failed the assignment. Oh, yes, by the way, this is a writing assignment. Since my “life” posts are getting boring, at least to me, I thought I’d try some of these assignments and see if I can step it up a notch. You know, my dream to be a writer and all.
Speaking of that dream, I have been thinking about many of the writers that actually make it are driven there out of necessity. I mean think about J.K.Rollins and Harry Potter. Ya know? I mean supposedly she was on welfare writing these ideas on napkins. Also my spiritual sister, Mary Roberts Rhinehart, started writing because her husband lost his job and she needed to find a way to make ends meet. I think that’s my problem. I’m not desperate enough. I’m not homeless and my bills are paid. So I am not giving 100% to this dream of mind. Instead I apply for this job and that job and “think” about being a writer. Maybe I should start a huge fight with Phil and then feel like I have to move out and write something. With making up in the end of course.
This idea, or kind of idea, also works with music writers I think. At least some of the music some writers write comes from broken hearts and downtrodden times. That guy Sam Smith who won all the grammy’s this year won on a song writing about a guy who broke his heart.
Maybe I’m too happy. Maybe I’m not desperate enough. Maybe for once being content is not working in the area of furthering the dream. Or maybe it’s just not my time.
I have 14 minutes to go and I’m done with that thought. Hmmm, let’s see.
My sister is here. We went to the beach today, we went to lunch with Zenah. OH, I let Zenah drive the car. She was all smiles. This car has memory settings for different drivers. We had fun with that. She is #3 (there are 3 settings) so it was fun to see her get all excited. I’m glad she likes our new car.
Um what else. I have one more day before coming up north. I feel very behind in getting ready for the trip.
Let’s see…12 minutes. Honestly the pressure….
It was a dark and stormy night….
Most days I write for at least 30 minutes plus then sometimes it takes more than an hour to proof, find pictures, post pictures, edit pictures. The pictures and the proofing take up most of my time.
So here’s a picture:
Another problem is the TV is on and I’m distracted. So at least I know I do better without distractions, like you know, the hotel room, the Island, that kind of thing.
I can’t do it. I ‘ve failed my first assignment. I can’t go the entire 20 minutes. I can’t think of things to say. I can’t stand the TV on in the background. I don’t know if everything is ready for dinner. I don’t know what else I have to do for dinner. I don’t know what I’m supposed to pack. I don’t know if car dealers will accept the extended warranty that I bought and I have to call those places tomorrow. I HAVE to. I don’t know where we are supposed to go for horseback riding tomorrow morning. I don’t know what to do with my sister in the afternoon and get my own stuff done. I think she’s just going to have to settle for the pool. Entertaining is time-consuming. My brother understands this. It’s lovely, but time-consuming. Should I pack sweaters? A coat? My hair is too short. Will it be staticy? Do I need to pack hair product? Will I have time to see everyone when I’m home? Who is everyone? Is it going to rain the whole time while I’m driving? I hate driving in the rain. But I suppose it’s better than snow and ice. Definitely better than ice.
Six minutes to go. My dinner needs prepared. I’m a quitter. I know tomorrow will not be a better day to write. Nor will I have any time up north to write but I want to make time. I want to take my computer. I WILL take my computer. Maybe at my mom’s something will happen. Maybe I’ll be inspired. Maybe. I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet. She doesn’t even have TV.