Today I’m thinking of Camille.  Remember her?  Camille was/is a beautiful girl from France/England, I think born in France but then was living in England.  Anyway, she went to Point Park.  Brilliant girl.  Stayed on for an MBA, fell in love with Arthur but had to move back to England as her student Visa ran out.  Fast forward a year or so, Arthur is still in Pittsburgh desperately missing Camille so she manages to come back for a second masters at Point Park and worked with us and got back together with Arthur.  Happily Ever After right?  Wrong.

Camille and Arthur were not working out.  Camille after graduation could not find a job. Two masters degrees, smart as a whip, talented, beautiful, hard-working, young. She had tons of interviews, tons of connections, she networked her ass off,  lots of possibilities, everyone loved her, but nothing was working for her.  Nothing.  And especially not her relationship.  She thought of everything to be able to stay in Pittsburgh and tried really hard to keep that relationship together.  Not that I’m a know it all but at the time I was able to detach from her sadness and I remember saying “you’re not supposed to be here.”  And through so many tears, and finally acceptance, off she went across the big water. (that would be the Atlantic Ocean, not the Ohio River)

End of the story, or this time in the story, she landed a perfect boyfriend and a job all in the same week or so within maybe a month or two after returning.  Her job is fantastic, she travels around Europe and she is totally in love.  And she’s still beautiful.  She could never have imagined this ending for her.  Or I should say this beginning because after all she is only 30.

I think a lot about my situation and Camille’s.  She loved it in Pittsburgh.  I love it here.  She tried so hard with Arthur and I tried so hard as well.  She was talented and marketable and nothing was coming together. I’m talented, not so much marketable at my age, and nothing is coming together.  Pittsburgh was not the place for her.  Maybe this Florida thing is not for me either.

I’m in my final week before I have to make a decision.  Although I think the decision is really out of my hands.  I am trying to be at peace with whatever happens.  If I have to leave Florida, again, I will go sobbing but I will keep Camille in the front of my thoughts and try to remember that we don’t always know what’s best for us or what life has in store for us.  It is quite possible that the man of my dreams lives in Goochland County, Virginia.  And I already have a desk there to keep writing. And if my sister is right, there is gold buried somewhere on that property.  I’ll just start digging.

My prayers go out to Camille and everyone over there in France and Europe.  The world is going crazy.  Personally, not to go off subject (but do you expect anything different?) I don’t think that truck driver has anything to do with ISIS.  I think they are just taking credit for it. I think he just snapped.  People can snap and not be part of ISIS.

I already went for a short walk.  I’m doing laundry and now I think I’ll watch the movie Out of Africa. Karen Blixen is a writer too!  Thank God I didn’t invest in a coffee farm.  I just invested in a relationship and lost.  It happens, and usually for the better.

xoxoxox

 

6 Thoughts on “Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.

  1. scott monahan on July 16, 2016 at 11:40 am said:

    that’s MY desk….white room for girl and girl desk.

  2. Diane on July 16, 2016 at 11:50 am said:

    Very wise ❤️

  3. Ellen on July 17, 2016 at 12:09 am said:

    Wow. Beautifully put.

  4. Ira Cottrell on July 20, 2016 at 1:22 pm said:

    Good luck to you Lynn; I wish I had some sage advice to offer. I do agree that it’s counter productive to spend too much time trying to see into the future. Quantum science-at least the Copenhagen view- wants to convince us that the only thing one could properly call the future is a non-objective, smeared out wave of probabilities of which we mortals are incapable of knowing which probability has the most weight; i.e. there are times when it is necessary to just put one’s head down and go for it! Goochland county could certainly contain some of those heavily weighted probabilities!!
    Gold buried on the property?? I’ve heard a lot of tales concerning the history of that property but I never heard that one. Back in the day some of the older black residents were convinced that the ancient graveyard out by the road was home to a few unruly ghosts but I don’t think anyone held the opinion that they were gold hoarding ghosts:-)
    To be sure, there is story material to be mined in that immediate area; although you may need to acquire a few William Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, or Pat Conroy genes to make the most of it.
    In any event, Marilyn and I wish you the best of luck and maybe we will see you soon sitting behind that(white) writing desk.

    Love, Ira

    • Thank you Ira and Marilyn. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. My situation changes by the minute so I am still in the “I have no idea” mode. But I will keep you and everyone posted.

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