I’ve made an important decision today. I’m switching back to liquid laundry detergent. Right? I mean the pods are handy and cute and all but really is one enough per load? Or is one too much? My former roommate threatened us with bodily harm if we used more than one pod per load, he had his limits on certain things. (that’s a joke about the bodily harm although he was pretty adamant) One time I snuck two in when I washed the bathroom rugs. I’m telling you two made a difference. I don’t want to use two now due to financial constraints but really I think maybe the liquid measuring method is more effective. I still use my soap nuts for sheets and towels. They are more organic and bug repellent so I definitely want those for the sheets. Sometimes those little spiders or bugs might think under the blankets is for them.
Speaking of finances, so my blogging buddy Amy posted something on her blog (here) the other day about remembering your first memory about money. It’s an interesting read. I didn’t know that was a “thing”- I remember my first money memory and I commented to her that I didn’t know what to do with that thought. She suggested I blog about it. Challenge accepted.
I don’t like to focus a lot on money these days. I get those emails about using all different kinds of methods for creating abundance, abundance this, abundance that, and I’m about sick of it. Obviously, I, more than most, know the importance of having money to survive but really do we need to focus on it sooo much? Sure I have my list for when I win the lottery but this whole money thing seems to be taking up too much time in my head. I need to be floating, checking turtle nests, walking on the beach and enjoying other free Florida activities while I can. If there is anything that life has taught me, and my first money memory is about, is that life is full of surprises both good and bad, and a lot of it is out of our control. In my first money memory it was all out of my control. Getting it and losing it. Sure some might think I’ve set myself up for a lot of my perceived financial failures but just because I don’t know where my next dime is coming from does not make me a failure. Should I have waited to have a job before moving to Florida? I would have never moved. I would never give up my Baker time for anything. If it was anything that PB was good at it was making me feel like I was more than just an office worker. That’s worth more to me than any office job anywhere — in the scheme of life and all– Not that this wisdom is helping much with the rent, but he did support the idea that I am more-than-that and at the very least worth more than what I was getting paid. Of course no one in my life has ever supported me financially before so I had to keep jobs in the past. It’s always been a question of survival. Not of choice. So it’s not that other’s haven’t supported my ideas but he was just able to let me pursue them and actually he is still helping me to pursue them. Only now I’m back in survival mode.
How does this my money memory play into my life now? Maybe it just makes me feel like it’s all out of my control. Maybe it is all out of my control. Looking back on my experiences I can see that I’ve never known what was going to happen – Who I’m going to meet, when I’ll win a raffle that will pay off my home repairs (this happened one time), when all my friends start sending me birthday money, when I take my penny jar to the coin machine and get through a couple of weeks, or when one of the 3000 resumes I’ve sent out will actually be the one. Maybe it won’t be a resume at all, maybe it’ll be something totally different, a chance meeting, a Reiki appointment, there are endless possibilities. I just don’t know what they are. I do my part, I send the resumes, I tell everyone I know I’m looking, but then it just feels like it’s all a crap shoot. Out of my control. There was a funny scene in my favorite show “Angel from Hell” which unfortunately has been cancelled. Anyway, the Angel compliments Brad that he should take a day off of work and not be tied to a desk, so he thinks that means to quit his job and she’s like “WHOA, you need a plan. You can’t just quit.” I’m trying to think if there’s a message in there for me. I don’t know. When I quit my job at Hospice there were definitely different circumstances. I believed those circumstances would stay the same and I would get another more suitable job after my traveling was over. I believe in not staying with something or someone who makes you miserable. I mean if I’m not true to myself than what good am I to anyone else? However, I didn’t see this scenario coming. Well, I guess I did a little but I was determined to go visit my mom and my kids for the month of April and that was all I could think about. That was my plan. It worked out well too because the person they hired started 2 weeks before I left and I trained her for two solid weeks before leaving for Virginia. I worked up to the day we left for that visit and a lovely visit it was. Maybe the Gods knew it would be awhile before I got back there to visit my kids. Who the hell knows. I don’t know what it all means. Does anybody?
I read somewhere recently that wealthy people never focus on money. It’s just a given, they have it. Recently Kyle asked me if I was independently wealthy. I said yes. I sure do live like someone who is.