Just when you think your world is never going to get out of the WTF stage something good happens. That good hasn’t happened for me yet. But it “can” happen. Right now I’m in the WTF stage. I mean serious WTF is going on with my life?
This week included a dental episode with decisions to pull a tooth and do a bridge or root canal and a crown. Ultimately the root canal was performed, the tooth is saved and I have to go back for a crown now. Cha ching and ouch. There were a few days of pain before the antibiotic kicked in. Anyone with teeth issues knows how that can just put you down for a couple of days. And now I don’t think my teeth are hitting correctly which is uncomfortable and throwing everything off. WTF
My ex hates me. I mean “hates” me. Just because I don’t want to be “friends” doesn’t call for hate does it? Does it? Everyone knows that you can’t be friends after a breakup. It just doesn’t work. Friendship usually doesn’t occur until years down the road. But friendly? What is wrong with civil? My life is in such a state of uncertainty it would just be nice to have a frie.…well never mind. WTF
I gave my landlord a two-week notice that I might probably be vacating, with the caveat that a hail mary can come at any time right? Hail Mary? WTF
I have $50 left to my name. Barb thinks I should set up a Go-fund me account. What would I say? I’m a good person, no one will hire me, please support me so I can float, tan, walk the beach and ramble? WTF
I have to figure out all this moving myself. I have no BF anymore. It’s traumatic. My wonderful sons can’t help me, but it’s okay. I take it as a sign that I’m not going anywhere. Imagine if Zachary made reservations to come here and help me move and I got a job. How pissed would he be? Well maybe not pissed at all and he’d float with me and go home with a tan. So I’m planning to go and I’m hoping to stay. My head is in a serious tug of war. It’s. Just. Too. Much.
So when they say “Ride the wave” am I in the crashing down mode now? What part of the wave am I on? What’s wrong with floating?
Theresa called and suggested the St. Jude candle which apparently you can get at the Dollar Store or a type of Dollar Store. But I decided to run over to the Catholic Church right down the road and just hit the knees. The doors were locked. I thought catholic churches were always open. There was a Mary statue in an outside garden so I went and talked to her for a bit. Then I decided to come home and make my own St. Jude shrine. I was not raised catholic but I did study Catholic Theology at Carlow and I went to Catholic Church with Jimmy who is quasi catholic. He is baptized and confirmed Catholic but that’s about it. Even so, I have to say the saints have not let me down. I think they like everybody, no matter what religion you are. And then there’s Mary. Who doesn’t love Mary? Mary loves everybody. I take it as a good sign that the statue didn’t start crying when I was there. I mean miracles are nice to see (i.e. crying statues) but not crying might mean that it’s all good.
I have always wanted to commit to memory the Hail Mary full of grace prayer and for some reason I can’t retain it. All I remember is Hail Mary Full of grace, pray for us sinners now and always. I think that’s wrong. Yep it is:
Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Amen.
Why can’t I remember that? It would be a lot better for me if that would scroll thru my brain rather than the garbage that is scrolling in there presently.
In good news, I won a book!! I know I won something. The author, Ellis Nelson, has a blog that I follow (here) and she was offering a signed copy of the book in a contest and I won one. It came today. I can’t wait to read it but I have to finish what I’m reading now. I’m reading now Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. The book I won is Into the Land of Snows. Same genre.
I won something. That’s a sign isn’t it?
Some day people are going to be paid big money to ramble and I’m going to be on top of the world.